On 10th April, 2020, Whispers had the first feminist discussion by 7pm on the Whispers telegram groupchat (https://t.me/WhisperToHumanity) where feminists present at the discussion shared their various feminist awakenings. Amazing right? We know.
Below are the feminists awakening of feminists present at the discussion:
Nwachukwu Onyinye: I live in a home deeply rooted in misogyny, I grew up cleaning up after my brothers, when we were little and stayed in the same room, if it was dirty, I was held accountable, I took the plates to the kitchen for washing after each meal, I brought the food upstairs, I swept after we ate. I washed everyone's clothes. As the only girl in a rather large family house, the chores were too much for me and my brothers were assigned sweeping, and I was constantly reminded that they were just helping me. Till date, I have to talk to them a certain way if my parents are close, cause they are men PS. Just one is older,and by a year. I am still held accountable for things that go wrong. Raising your voice is not becoming of a woman. Reacting to provocation is not womanly
A woman is always meek; The last two are my dad's favourite. Let's just say I've never been feminine. You can imagine the amount of trouble I've constantly gotten into. I was 13 when I saw for the first time the imbalance, I didn't exactly get was feminism was, but I didn't want any of these behaviors for myself. Every error I made, I was reminded that my mother inlaw somewhere, would not be so tolerant. Its like we have a textbook life to live. A certain pattern expected of us to follow. Feminism to me, is loving woman hood. Recognizing that she is important in all aspect of society. That being a female is not a handicap of society. It means equality in places of work and other areas of opportunity, political and otherwise. It means equal footing and responsibility in relationships. It means humanity not objectivity.
Cynthia Opaluwa:
Growing up I was made to understand a man will marry me and put me in the house, that I was being groomed to cater for the family.
I would always get bullied by my elder brothers each time I tried to play with them on how am a female. I always envied them when they always played around but could only watch them cause I am supposed to act like a lady and be in the kitchen or do something else but not play with them. I wasn't even allowed to mingle with the neighbors children but they were free to do so. For every mistake I made I was always being reminded on their efforts in preparing me for my husband's house till date.
In secondary school, as girls we didn't have a say in class decisions for fear of being made a target by the guys cause day outnumbered us by 27:11.
My feminist awakening was when I actually joined Activista Kogi and found out all these were cause by the gender gap that existed in the country, I had thought wrongly and that the ideology of men's power over women was wrong.
MaryJacob Okwuosa:
Life for my young self seemed normal, gap and what not seemed none existing, equality and all, totally unnecessary, since i thought it obviously existed.
Then I went to school, of course were we meet the world. And i met a world different from what i knew, a totally scary one. For the first times I heard my teachers say "That's too much for a girl" "You are not a boy" and the likes. I wondered why those were even statements but became more observant too.
I realized most of my playmates in the neighbourhood were boys, some of who had sisters that had to stay put and help out in the kitchen. I didn't mind so much as football was my favourite thing and very few girls seemed to have much interest. Well, those seemed unfair but I probably needed a little more to truly awaken.
You know kids talk right?
Yes we talked and we talked about family to each other and everything i heard about daddies and brothers scared the life out of me. I pitied my friends and classmates whom i felt were all living with monsters and scary creatures other than humans. I spoke to mummy everyday after school about these talks, so much so that she reached out to help some of my friend's mums and with my friends fees too, that made me feel their daddies were obviously wrong and mummy was right and i should help people like mummy did but something was different between us, mummy still felt women had limitations (wrong thought right? I know).
At 8, I fought passionately ☺️ with a boy much older for trying to hit his sister. It was simple, she came to play with us and left dishes unwashed, so their dad came with a roar to scold them for leaving the dishes, then bros turned to kid sis who was my age to go do it since she was a girl. I stood for her and we had a fight that i never regretted. For a full week, i locked my balls and toys from every boy in my neighbourhood and for the first time in my life someone called me a FEMINIST. It was a new word that seemed like a title 🥰 so i searched the dictionary like my life depended on it and everyday that passed, i wanted to maintain that title FEMINIST!!!!
This is my awakening story, and standing for sisters haven't stopped being a privilege for me and a title of great joy and honor 💋💋
Ifeanyi Oluchi June:
I grew up having the mindset that girls were gossips and had so much unnecessary drama.
But boys didn’t have any drama, they were the coolest set of people I could spend time with.
I grew up having the mindset that as a girl, I was supposed to run away from men and not have men touch me but my mum always encouraged my younger brother to be free with girls.
As little as 7 years, my brother would run home and say there was this girl that he liked so when he was leaving for school the next day when my mum would put his things together for school, she’d put extra things for this girl that he liked.
I grew up thinking that at the end of the day, I would end up taking care of a home, bearing as much kids as my husband desired.
My feminist awakening was when I heard chimamanda give that speech “We should all be feminists“. It occurred to me there was a huge gap between men and women. Women didn’t have the same opportunities and freedom that men had in the society.
These are the feminist awakenings of feminists present at the discussion.
In the next post, Whispers would take you through the individual definitions of feminism and personal thoughts of the gender gap that exists.
Cover Photo Credit @rawpixel